Should we appease God?

As we struggle with our relationship with the Almighty, the tendency is strong to seek ways to win His favor. Appeasement seems a natural thing. We try to do things that hopefully, will influence Him to come to our service.

Appeasement conveys the idea of bribery, or bargaining to say the least. We visualize a weak person seeking to placate a much stronger one by various devices.

If our God was a being who was not so very intelligent, he might be persuaded about some of the deals we offer him, such as obedience for some miracle or special work. To be so persuaded, he would have to have some need that we could satisfy.

A God like this would not be seeing us as children but as merchants he could bargain with for something.

Such a God would have to be limited in his own ability to be persuaded that he could be helped by us. Finally, he would have to have a weak sense of justice to subvert it to his personal gain.

All these things speak not of an all powerful, all knowing, all just God. They do not suggest the God revealed in the Scriptures and in nature itself nor in our inner sense of who God really is.

Appeasement is not founded on the real relationship that we have been granted by the Lord. The Lord has granted to us something far better. He has conferred upon us sonship. By virtue of what Christ won for us on the Cross, our sins are forgiven. The sin is what created the gap in the first place. If sin had not entered the picture, our relationship would always have been perfect. There would have been no need for appeasement as God would no longer have been seen as distant and forbidding, demanding and stern.

The true approach to God is not appeasement. There is no bargaining with God. We have nothing to offer Him. We are empty handed to start with and in any case, God needs nothing from us. In fact, He is offended by the idea of appeasement. He looks with a smile knowing we are helpless and incapable of doing anything to help Him. He is not offended by us as He understands our broken nature and tendency to mis-understand His great love for us.

If we could only see Him as a father who knows much more than we, who is much more powerful than we can even conceive, it would help us to understand better what our attitude and approach should be.

Most of us have had fathers who had less than saintly attitudes, less than Solomon’s wisdom, less than true generosity. So it is a bit unlikely that we will be able to achieve the attitude and approach by replicating that which we had with our earthly father. Instead, we must keep our eye on the holy Scripture and depend on the Holy Spirit for the right approach to the Lord.

Our God is a warm, caring, knowing Father who wants only our good. He is able to bring about our good and is not only able but is willing. 

Our prayer to Him should be first preceded by a re-cap of who He is, How great He is, How merciful and loving He is. We should remind ourselves that He really does care. He is not only able but willing to do for us what we cannot do ourselves.

We can know God only indirectly by our human senses. His creation appeals to our sight, our hearing, our senses and our intelligence. 

We can only know God by the Holy Spirit. The Holy Spirit moves upon our consciousness and our conscience as to the reality and presence of God. The word of God revealed to us are only words of no effect except by the Holy Spirit. The Spirit of God quickens our spirit and makes the word of God a living thing in us. Apart from the Holy Spirit, we can have no true consciousness of God.

He is a grumpy old guy with a ledger keeping track of our every action, good and bad.

He is a sleepy old guy who has to be shaken awake when we need him.

He has an extremely short memory and we have to keep asking him for the same thing over and over.

He has no idea of how to solve problems so when we pray, we have to give him an action plan for our problems.

But he never forgets our faults so we have to keep apologizing over and over for the same thing.

Begging is necessary to convince him of our needs.

He has no idea how to run a world so bad things are happening everywhere.

He constantly invents tragedies, calamities and troubles and irritations just to see how we react.

Several times in the New Testament are mentioned the brethren of Jesus. The use of the term “brethren” while frequent among Christians today when referring to “brother” Christians is rather used in the New Testament to refer to actual relatives of Jesus. Were they really His brothers?

Actually, there are four brothers and several sisters mentioned, raising the question, “Were they the children of Mary by Joseph?” Some theologians think so and that would be the simplest answer and would make them half siblings of Jesus. That is, they were children of Joseph and Mary after Jesus. 

An early view is that they were cousins of Jesus, that is, they were children of Mary’s sister and of Clopas. This view also holds that three of the brothers were among the 12 apostles.

My own view and that called the Epiphanian view is that they were children of Joseph by a previous marriage and that Mary was truly a virgin all her life. The reasons for this view are as follows:

1. It is the oldest viewpoint, being current in Palestine in the 2^nd century.
2. If Mary had a large family of her own, the tradition of her perpetual virginity could never have gotten traction which it did and still has, especially in the Catholic Church.
3. Jesus on the cross would not have committed his mother’s care to John if she had four living sons.

The Epiphanian view still is held in the Eastern Orthodox church.

A fair question is raised by the absence of any of them in the visit by Jesus at age 12 to the Temple in Jerusalem. But being older, they might have stayed at home or attended the feast by themselves.

His brethren were not believers during Jesus’ lifetime on earth but it does appear from Acts 1;14 and ICor 15;7 that they were converted after the resurrection of Jesus from the dead.

In our early parentage a friend gifted us with some guidelines for child discipline*. We were struck with the wisdom in them and adopted the rules for our own children’s upbringing. Many years later we found that every one of our children love us and respect us despite the practice we had of faithful application of the rod when disciplining our children when they were young. Here are the highlights of how it worked.

First, immediate obedience was expected of our children; we did not tell them three times to do something. On the first command, if they did not obey, we used a rod to correct their behavior. As a result of this, several things happened. 

• We never got angry because we applied the rod before our anger developed. The rod was  a piece of yardstick about 18 inches long; enough to get some leverage but there was no way you could actually injure a child on their posterior.
• The children learned quickly that obedience was required and in its absence they must expect discipline
• We never threatened; we just acted when disobedience was manifested
• Tantrums were absolutely intolerable; the child learned that and they never tried again.
• Discipline was the concept, not punishment.
• We could hug and love the child after discipline because there was no anger involved.
• Use of the rod was much more effective than just the hand as it was felt by the child with much less effort on our part. Using the hand is too emotional; the rod is clinical.
• One swat was usually all that was necessary
• By early grade school, obedience was the rule of their behavior and the rod was no longer needed.

The children knew the bounds of behavior and lived by them.

Were the children moody, resentful or sullen as result of this approach? Absolutely not. Because discipline was not an emotional process but a merely a training approach.

It is a grave mistake to think that physical discipline is abusive or harmful to the child. Quite the opposite is true. Without discipline, a child is rudderless and doesn’t know what the bounds of behavior are. The child sees the parent’s anger and sudden impulsive behavior and doesn’t understand. Every incident is emotional and stressful. The child learns that he can get by in public because the parent will not apply any correction. Just a multitude of wrong. 

Physical discipline applied unfailingly produced a moment of pain but no anger and no resentment as the kid knew he/she deserves it. No emotion, just discipline. 

It worked.

• Why Daddy Likes to Come Home.

After more than 50 years of marriage and a lot of study of the scripture, here are some thoughts on love in marriage.

First, no one marries another for what he/she can do for the other… we all marry for what it can do for us. Selfish, isn’t it? Well, think about it. Isn’t that how it is?

But second, the key to the marriage becoming a wonderful thing is true love. And true love is looking after the well being, the good, the happiness of the other party. When only one of the parties adopts this approach, the marriage is unfortunately short lived or maybe just a survival. But when both parties adopt this approach, then marriage becomes a beautiful thing worth our lives and a great joy.

You see, love is not a feeling. Love is an act of the will. Now, I understand that there are great feelings in a romance leading to marriage. But true love is something that says, “I am going to give myself for another. And truth be known, until we make a commitment to our spouse’s well being first over our own, we aren’t really practicing love.

Think about this and if you haven’t already discovered this ageless truth, then make the commitment that you are going to truly love your partner. Commit that you are going to do things, say things and think things for the betterment of your partner. Tell your partner that you are doing this if you want to. And then just trust the Lord to make that seed of true love produce real fruit. Your joy will come in this true love and hopefully, it will be reciprocated by your partner if it hasn’t already been reciprocated.

Third, being a true Christian makes this far more possible as we already have learned that we are loved by our Heavenly Father. (See John 3:16) “For God so loved the world that he gave his only begotten son, that whosoever believeth in Him should not perish, but have everlasting life.” 

These words of Jesus should give pause to every sober thinking man. Am I chosen? What can I do to be sure?

What if you aren’t even sure that it matters?That is the state of mind of many and they go on blithely day by day and the end of their life approaches relentlessly. For certain is their life going to end. But not so certainly in their mind, is there anything beyond. There might be and there might not be anything after the grave. How should a thinking man handle this uncertainty?

One approach would be to just ignore it and think of other things more definite and more imminent. This approach is to play the percentages. But what if the chance of a life after death  is very tiny, is it ok to ignore it? Does it make sense to bet against life after death when the risk is eternity? Would it not make more sense to investigate it a little more? After all, if you are wrong, even if only a tiny percentage of a chance, the consequences are worse than anything in this life because the consequences are forever. The stakes are immense and immeasurable.

One might say, “Well, I can’t know anyway so why waste time on something that is unknowable?” Makes sense but is it really unknowable? Just because it can’t be discovered by the usual scientific means doesn’t make it unknowable.

You might remember the account of Pharaoh and the people of Israel in Egypt. They got there by virtue of Joseph’s position as a close advisor of Pharoah. But after a few generations, the Israelites were viewed as undesirables and treated as such by the Egyptians. 

God wanted them to be freed and Pharaoh resisted Moses’ demands for their freedom. So God undertook to change Pharaoh’s mind with numerous plagues on the people. They were executed one at a time and finally, Pharaoh was convinced he needed to relent and let the Israelites go.

In the time of Isaiah and Jeremiah, long after the kingdom of David and Solomon with all their glory, the Israeli people fell away from God. God began to send wars and invasions to shake up the people. First, the territories around Judah and Jerusalem were occupied by the outsiders from Syria. Then, still not repenting, God sent invaders from Babylon and Judah was also captured and the people enslaved. 

This captivity which lasted for decades convinced the people of the evil of idolatry.

The main point here is that God allowed setback after setback in order to get the attention of His people.

I can’t help but think the numerous setbacks our nation has been subjected to in recent years should be taken as God’s warnings to us. Think of 911, the mass murders in schools and other places, the shutdowns of the corona virus, the riots and destruction. All these should be viewed at the least as a call by the Lord to turn to Him. We can’t look to President Trump to save us. He might be used by the Lord but ultimately, we need to look to God, not men for our salvation.

Over the centuries, Christians more times than not, have been subjected to much hardship and persecution. We should not expect to see sunny days without respite. Instead, we should expect persecution for the Scripture tells us they that live Godly shall suffer persecution. (IITim 3:12) God promises to deliver His church against the power of Satan. But we should not expect this to come without conflict and without our prayer and intercession for His deliverance.

When we reach that place set aside for us by our heavenly Father, surely there will be excited conversations.

First will be our congratulations to each other for having made it to such a delightful place. Surprise and delight might be followed by silence as we realize the absence of some we felt surely would be there, or others that we failed to witness to, who might have been with us.

There likely will be no mention of the day’s headlines on earth or the game Saturday. No politics will be discussed. No talk about the stock market.

And certainly, there will be no details passed around of the failings or shortcomings of others, either present or not present. Those remarks will be completely trumped by the realization that we made it ourselves only by the grace of God.

Then, we will praise Him for his grace and mercy abundant. The conversation will be on how gracious is our Lord, how wise were His dealings with us, and how forgiving of our many, many faults. We will wonder at his overlooking of our wrongdoings even as we were so fastidious of the faults of others in our lives. His grace will seem so rich alongside our selfishness.

We will feel reproved by His judgment just passed, but greatly relieved that mercy overruled so much more than that which we showed others in our earthly lives. How well he understood us when we made mistakes, and gave us the benefit of the doubt which we withheld to those we judged. And we will be so glad to learn that no grudges are held in Heaven by that One who might well have weighed so heavily against us.

All things considered, we will cry out our acclamation that He is indeed so much superior to us who felt superior to those around us. We will praise his name and join the four and twenty elders of Revelation 4:11 who chorus,

“Thou art worthy O Lord, to receive glory and honour and power: for thou hast created all things, and for thy pleasure they are and were created.”

Forgiveness is the essence of Christianity. Without it, there is no Christianity. How can such a thing be said?

In the New Testament we read, “Wherefore as by one man, sin entered into the world and so death passed upon all men for that all have sinned.”(Rom 5;12). This summarizes the moral condition of us all. No amount of good behavior can offset the fact that we all are sinners at heart and the legal outcome of this in God’s economy is our death. This is more than just physical death but also our spiritual death as our sin is a spiritual matter.

We all need to be forgiven. If we are to be saved, we must be forgiven by our God. It is our greatest blessing that Jesus while on the cross in his last hour, said, “Father, forgive them for they know not what they do.” (Luke 23;34). While he spoke in the immediate instance of those who had crucified him, we all corporately are part of that crowd and in the same need of forgiveness.

This great fact is the basis for our forgiveness of others. Jesus said …”if ye forgive not men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.”(Matt 6;15) Here is a very serious warning to those who harbor unforgiveness in their hearts.

The question might be asked, “Must I forgive if the person offending me has not apologized?” One clue to the right answer here is found in the example of Stephen, an early martyr at the time of the apostles. Stephen had just finished a sermon to the religious leaders of his day and they, in great anger, seized him and stoned him to death. Stephen’s last words, are recorded in Acts 7;60, “And he kneeled down, and cried with a loud voice, Lord, lay not this sin to their charge. And when he had said this, he fell asleep.”

Of course, Jesus Himself as recorded above, forgave his persecutors just before he expired on the cross.

Another question might be raised as to how many times must we forgive someone who repeatedly has offended us?  Jesus answered this question as well when it was raised by the apostle Peter. “Then came Peter to him, and said, Lord, how oft shall my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? till seven times? Jesus saith unto him, I say not unto thee, Until seven times: but, Until seventy times seven.”(Matt 18; 21-22).

The message here is very crucial not only to relationships amongst people but it is critical to our own spiritual health. If we are unforgiving, we will be harboring anger and resentment. This will show up in many areas of our lives and ultimately, result in our own rejection by our Savior. Keep short accounts. If someone has offended you, approach them privately and discuss it with them. If they will not receive you, then you must decide how you will handle the matter. You might not be able to have a relationship with that person in future.

But you must forgive, for your own spiritual health.

Usually when we pray it is only after realizing we are out of options for our situation. We have pondered, and thought and there just doesn’t seem to be any answer that, in the natural course of things, will resolve our issue. We could just give up on any answer.

So finally we turn to prayer. This too is inward thinking, for the most part. We really can’t see clearly what would be best even if things did go right; it’s just too complex. But we still find ourselves trying to explain to God what it is that has to happen for our situation to be resolved,  as if He needed our help in this. In the end, we don’t have any real sense of peace or satisfaction.

All this is wrong. 

We ought to bring all our needs to God constantly. As a day by day thing we should be lifting our hearts to Him in prayer. That is what is meant by the scripture, “pray always.”

Then when a particular issue is before us, we should go before the Lord first, thinking of who He is. We should ponder His greatness in creation and in power and in knowledge. Don’t shortchange this process and don’t treat it perfunctorily. Our faith is not dependent on an emotional feeling but on the facts of God. The more we think about who He is and what He is, the more likely we will be able to believe that He is able to deal with our situation. This requires a knowledge of scripture.

Think about what His Word tells us about God. 

The heavens declare the glory of God; and the firmament sheweth His handiwork. (Psalm 19;1)

And, thou, Lord, in the beginning hast laid the foundation of the earth; and the heavens are the works of thine hands: (Hebrews 1:10)

Thou art worthy, O Lord, to receive glory and honor and power: for thou hast created all things, and for thy pleasure they are and were created. (Revelation 4:11)

Think about the scope, the scale, the power of this God we worship. Think about the stars, their multitude, their distance, their sizes. Who did this? Think about the complexity of design in the universe, our planet, all its creatures. Who was so intelligent as to do this?

Behold, I am the Lord , the God of all flesh: is there any thing too hard for me? (Jeremiah 32:27)

Having gotten a reminder of what God is, now think about who He is.

Our Father who art in Heaven…

Wherefore thou art no more a servant, but a son; and if a son, then an heir of God through Christ. (Galatians 4:7)

And because ye are sons, God hath sent forth the Spirit of his Son into your hearts, crying, Abba, Father. (Galatians 4:6)

Now, think about His attitude toward us. Again from the Word, 

Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends. (John 15:13)

For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life. (John 3:16)

Ponder your own attitude toward your child, if you are a parent. Is there anything good that you would not do for him/her? Does he always understand and appreciate that you are acting for his good? Do you need his help to figure out what to do? (Sometimes, we do, of course, but if we were God, would we need the help of an infant in figuring our what to do?)

Now, ponder the price God paid for our salvation through the death of His beloved Son and then realize that,

He that spared not his own Son, but delivered him up for us all, how shall he not with him also freely give us all things? (Romans 8:32)

So, God is completely able, God is completely willing, God has promised. 

Do you just promise things to your child and then deliberately forget about it? Of course not, your integrity depends upon this. You would never have your child think you are not reliable, or trustworthy.

Try hard not to lay out a plan of action and a timetable for your Father. He doesn’t need it. He doesn’t expect it. He really doesn’t even want it. And He usually just ignores it. He already knows what needs to be done. He knows how to do it. He is in complete control of all the circumstances.

It is enough to just lay a matter before your Father without prescribing how or when something has to be done. He can figure it out. He knows what is coming and how your situation fits into His plan for your life. And He does have a plan. You think God just lets things go whatever way they will? Nope. Your Father is in control. Don’t ask me to explain all the sin and tragedy that is so evident in the world. That is a whole ‘nother subject and there is an explanation even if it doesn’t suit your idea of justice, right and fairness. Leave all that in God’s hands for now. 

Just lay your problem before your Father. And then leave it there.

God frequently wants specific action from us and we shouldn’t just play dumb. But basically, we need to trust God. Leave things where you put them; in His hands. That is what is meant by the wonderful command and promise in the Word.

Don’t fall into the trap of wondering if you are worthy of an answer. Of course, you aren’t. No one is. We all are impoverished and deserve nothing. But our Father does not dole out his stuff based on merit. If He did, He would have never sent the Savior. Keep your focus on Him, not yourself. 

It’s ok if a thought of guilt about something comes up. But just tell Him you are guilty and you are sorry and you repent. That’s it. Move on back to God, not yourself. He’s not keeping score and doesn’t need you to.

Be careful (anxious) for nothing; but in every thing by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known unto God. And the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus. (Philippians 4;6,7).

Wow! How do you shut off emotional worry? By an act of the will. You did all the stuff explained above, didn’t you? Now just tell God when worry creeps back in, that you are going to do what He commands you in this verse and NOT spend time fretting. Every time the worry creeps back, preach this to yourself and talk to God.

When will you see results? I don’t know. I do know that our timetable is usually shorter than God’s. Our solutions are usually more direct and obvious than God’s. Just trust Him. He’s your Father.

Don’t be discouraged that things are not laid out in front of you in living color. Remember,

O the depth of the riches both of the wisdom and knowledge of God! how unsearchable are his judgments, and his ways past finding out! (Romans 11:33)