After more than 50 years of marriage and a lot of study of the scripture, here are some thoughts on love in marriage.

First, no one marries another for what he/she can do for the other… we all marry for what it can do for us. Selfish, isn’t it? Well, think about it. Isn’t that how it is?

But second, the key to the marriage becoming a wonderful thing is true love. And true love is looking after the well being, the good, the happiness of the other party. When only one of the parties adopts this approach, the marriage is unfortunately short lived or maybe just a survival. But when both parties adopt this approach, then marriage becomes a beautiful thing worth our lives and a great joy.

You see, love is not a feeling. Love is an act of the will. Now, I understand that there are great feelings in a romance leading to marriage. But true love is something that says, “I am going to give myself for another. And truth be known, until we make a commitment to our spouse’s well being first over our own, we aren’t really practicing love.

Think about this and if you haven’t already discovered this ageless truth, then make the commitment that you are going to truly love your partner. Commit that you are going to do things, say things and think things for the betterment of your partner. Tell your partner that you are doing this if you want to. And then just trust the Lord to make that seed of true love produce real fruit. Your joy will come in this true love and hopefully, it will be reciprocated by your partner if it hasn’t already been reciprocated.

Third, being a true Christian makes this far more possible as we already have learned that we are loved by our Heavenly Father. (See John 3:16) “For God so loved the world that he gave his only begotten son, that whosoever believeth in Him should not perish, but have everlasting life.”