It was several years after I left New Haven before I learned this of the person I went to worship nearly every morning as a boy. I felt drawn there every day and to get up before school and walk the 1/2 mile seemed a part of me and as natural as all the other routines of my life. No one made me do it; it just seemed right.
Only years later did I realize that he had been drawing me all along. It wasn’t piety on my part at all. Even after I had surrendered my life to him, I didn’t until later understand the mind-numbing truth that he could not save himself if he was to save me.
For you see, my sin convicted me in the court of divine justice. Now I never felt it back then; it was only later that I realized that I lived under a condemnation that was very definite. Neither Ned Bell nor Father Gettlefinger could have lifted it. I was condemned for what I was, a sinner. That condemnation was so severe and so definite that only death could pay for it. My sin deserved my death and there was no other way out. But my freedom came when I understood that Jesus Christ had died in my place.
He saved others; Himself He cannot save. He cannot save Himself from death for to do so would leave me condemned.
What love! It goes beyond comprehension. I didn’t know it until years later, but I did do well to go worship him every morning.